Raspberry Iced M

My second therapy appointment was this week. I go every Tuesday at 8:00. My therapist’s name is Christy.

Having lately been convicted of my mouth, I am doing my level best to do what I feel like I’m being called to do, which is hush. I do not know if it is because I do not trust myself / my words, or if because I am supposed to grow and learn in solitude. I used to live my life and make decisions based on what would make me “the most liked.” Now, while I am sure there are many hurt people in the world who still do not like me, I am choosing to combat that with growth as best I know how. And therapy, hopefully, will be a useful tool while I make my attempt.

So while I have kept my mouth shut and moved in silence, I have been able to talk to Christy about certain, troublesome aspects of my life. And again, nothing that is “wrong” in my life is anyone’s fault but mine. Sometimes it’s about taking full responsibility for your screw ups.

And even though I am choosing to remain quiet (I get like two views per day on this blog, so don’t mistake this space as a need for popularity – I only share my experiences because they may help others – not to earn a badge or award or accolades), I realized I can’t get the tools I need to grow if I do not talk to a professional.

Christy told me today that most people think growth looks like this:

In reality, growth looks more like this:

Do you know how much that sucks? First off, I love straight lines. Secondly, this means I have to deal with all of life’s “regular” struggles – paying bills, mothering, working, cooking, cleaning, taking care of animals, all while being tempted, tried – and still find time and energy to GROW?!?

Yes. I’ve got help. From the only One I need. And this is important to me. Growth is a priority. Healing is a priority.