Raspberry Iced M

The Good. The Bad. The Raspy.

  • Wrecked Raspberry

    I have control issues.

    Prior to very recently, I’d have denied it. But the truth is that I do. I want to know what’s going to happen next. I want all of the options communicated to me. I want to know where, when, how, and most importantly, WHY.

    And I realize now what a burden that is to carry. To question others’ motives. To defend every decision I make. To want my hand in the lives of those by whom I feel “affected.”

    I heard this song on the way home from therapy Tuesday that WRECKED me.

    “You don’t have to break just to prove you tried.”

    WHAT?!? You mean to tell me that it’s okay if I walk away from a situation or a person if my ideas don’t align with theirs? I don’t have to sit in criticism, sadness, or self-loathing? I can literally just walk away? I’m allowed to quit?

    I am.

    And so are you.

    If you don’t want to talk to someone, don’t. If someone makes you feel terrible about yourself, walk away, and don’t look back. “No” is a full sentence. Being someone’s doormat does not make that person love you more.

    Here’s the thing – people who keep you in your feelings want you there for a reason. If they can keep you in your feelings, they have a hold on you, and they can keep you out of your greater purpose. Those people will stir up offense, magnify fear, and push insecurities (EVEN IF THEY DON’T “MEAN TO”), because insecurity clouds vision, and cloudy vision delays obedience.

    Today, I say, “No more.” No more feeling awful because I couldn’t take care of everybody, or please everybody, or be “enough” for everybody. No more apologizing repeatedly for my mistakes. I’m forgiven by the One who matters, and that’s enough. No more missing people who know how to contact me. No more crying over failures, because I must have failed for a reason. No more manipulating situations or changing who I am to suit anybody else. No more matching energies. No more competing. No more grudges. No more waiting on other people to get it right. No more expectations of circumstantial change.

    Nobody else’s feelings are my responsibility. Just like my feelings are no one else’s responsibility.

    You don’t have to break yourself, be dishonest about who you are or what you want, or bend over, just to prove you’re trying.

    Let go. Let God. I promise He will do a better job than you anyway.

  • Ten Raspberry ADLs

    Good morning. Well, I suppose it will be afternoon by the time I finish.

    I stay at home most of the time. I don’t go out. There are times when I stay home because I want to and other times because I don’t have the energy or motivation to even begin to put in the effort to put on clothes that button and present to a place, just to leave even more anxious than when I left the house in the first place.

    Tuesdays (like today) are the exception. Every Tuesday I wake up and find a hairbrush and a pair of yoga pants and head to therapy, where I spew the events of the previous week to someone who literally gets paid to listen to people gripe. I don’t want her job.

    But I told her today that none of it will make a bit of difference if there is no progress. So I first asked her if I could even be fixed – or – alternatively – if I was too broken. And then I asked her to pile some work on me. Talking to someone is a start, but if there is no action toward genuine change, talking is pointless.

    And in my head I began to ruminate over how many people with whom I’ve crossed paths who would never understand it. Understand me.

    I have heard it said that we judge other people based on their actions, and we judge ourselves based on our intentions. And I would love to learn how to act – behave – in such a way that there is noticeable, obvious change. Not for anybody else (let’s face it – if I don’t leave the house, there is nothing to notice). But so that I can have peace knowing I’m not the same person I used to be. That I don’t blame my issues on others’ behavior. That I don’t look for validation outside of myself. That I can accept myself for who I am while also setting meaningful goals to better serve my future. Even if that future is lonely or circumstantially difficult.

    And to others, mainly YOU, Raspberry Readers, it may not seem like much. But I have changed a few habits, and added others, that have improved my quality of life.

    • I start every morning with “Thank you, Jesus.” On days when my to-do list outweighs my motivation. On days when my phone is dry. On days when I want to crumble into a ball and let the world run over me. None of those things matter. I’m not gone from this world, which means I still have a purpose. And the gratitude for grace that I have comes from deeply rooted shame and guilt. Just saying “thank you” automatically changes my perspective.
    • I get dressed. I know that seems like a “duh” type of obligation, but I work from home, and on days when it is hard to separate my profession with my personal life, it can be easy to roll out of bed and log in for work. But I’ve found that actually getting up with intention – getting ready for my day – even if I just put on different comfy clothes – prepares me more for both work and my duties at home.
    • I keep my mouth shut. I heard someone say recently, “Never miss someone who knows how to contact you.” Consider my flabbers gasted. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to follow that rule, but I do know there are a lot of people I know longer talk to who do not want to talk to me. God’s daughters don’t beg. So I don’t.
    • I utilize a prayer journal. Every night before bed, I turn the t.v. on and actually write out my praise. Sometimes I ask Him for help. Sometimes I ask questions – why this or why that? Sometimes I just tell Him that I am not owed grace or mercy or forgiveness, and I thank Him for giving me what I do not deserve. I tell Him I love him. I tell Him if I’m sad or angry or lonely. I just try to be honest on paper. Last night I asked Him to help me decide on a color theme for the Christmas tree. And I know that is probably silly. But I literally just write letters to Him, and talk to Him like I would a friend. Right now, He’s all I’ve got, and I know He set it up that way, because I need to be more in love with Him than the distractions of the world. I am a living, breathing example of God turning a terrible decision/circumstance/person into something better.
    • I got a dog. My black lab of almost a decade, Zeek, passed away back in March, and I miss him terribly. Every day. But I know myself well enough to realize that I needed something to take care of in order to feel like I am worth anything. So I found Ozzy, and we really hit it off. He’s really tiny and smart and playful and he’s a good bed buddy. I think we are good for each other.
    Meet Ozmond a/k/a Ozzy. No, you can’t have him.
    • I limit my social media time. I have the accounts. I just stay off of them. It’s all fake anyway.
    • Instead, I read the Bible. I don’t know if I’m doing it right or not, but I just started in Genesis and I’m working my way forward. I use a Bible app, and follow my plans as best I can. I read a devotional every day, I take notes, and I give the Lord thanks when I read something that convicts me or jumps out at me. There are a whole lot of people in the world who call themselves “Christians,” who are simultaneously bound by their own agendas. “Lord, you can have ‘that’ part of me, but I’m keeping ‘this’ separate.” I used to be that person, too, so I’m not judging, but I no longer wish for control, because I’ve recognized that I am incapable of handling anything on my own. I am too imperfect. No excuses anymore. I’m on a mission.
    • I SHAMELESSLY window shop online. I don’t always buy. But I just love Amazon. I love Temu. As mentioned earlier, I recently fell down a rabbit hole looking at and thinking about various Christmas tree themes, and I categorized each theme into separate lists on Amazon. I could buy different ornaments every year for a decade and still not run out of ideas. Of all my past obsessions, this current one has proven to take up just enough headspace to keep me off of socials and out of my feelings. I’m really enjoying it so far. I am even flocking my own tree this year and I can’t wait to show you all how it turns out.
    • I plan my day ahead of time. Before I journal my nightly prayer, I pull out my bullet journal and plan the next day. I divide my day into “blocks” of time (if you’re looking for inspo here, search “Jordan Page Block Schedule” on YouTube and she’ll show you how to do it). Every block is filled with things I need to complete. I am not perfect when it comes to following it, but the blocks help keep me on track so that the day doesn’t get away from me. And there’s no guess work. I don’t have to decide what to wear every morning, because it’s written down. I don’t have to spontaneously choose what to cook for dinner, because I meal planned the night before. No need to decide what chore to start with after work – I just look at my list. It helps anxious Raspberry. Highly recommend it.
    • I watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. on repeat. I heard once that people who watch the same t.v. shows or movies over and over do so because they cannot handle the anxiety of not knowing what comes next. I don’t know how true that statement is, but I will say this – not only do I love the show, but knowing what I am going to watch is just one less decision I have to make. And since I’m on a journey of relinquishing control, I think it’s appropriate.
    • And lastly, I do this. I blog. I don’t write every day, but throughout the day, I’m thinking about what I want to write about next, asking for guidance, of course. And truthfully, if no one in the world sees this, at least it’s available. I am so grateful to have somewhere to leave my words.

    Until next time, Raspberries…

  • Real Raspberry Growth

    My second therapy appointment was this week. I go every Tuesday at 8:00. My therapist’s name is Christy.

    Having lately been convicted of my mouth, I am doing my level best to do what I feel like I’m being called to do, which is hush. I do not know if it is because I do not trust myself / my words, or if because I am supposed to grow and learn in solitude. I used to live my life and make decisions based on what would make me “the most liked.” Now, while I am sure there are many hurt people in the world who still do not like me, I am choosing to combat that with growth as best I know how. And therapy, hopefully, will be a useful tool while I make my attempt.

    So while I have kept my mouth shut and moved in silence, I have been able to talk to Christy about certain, troublesome aspects of my life. And again, nothing that is “wrong” in my life is anyone’s fault but mine. Sometimes it’s about taking full responsibility for your screw ups.

    And even though I am choosing to remain quiet (I get like two views per day on this blog, so don’t mistake this space as a need for popularity – I only share my experiences because they may help others – not to earn a badge or award or accolades), I realized I can’t get the tools I need to grow if I do not talk to a professional.

    Christy told me today that most people think growth looks like this:

    In reality, growth looks more like this:

    Do you know how much that sucks? First off, I love straight lines. Secondly, this means I have to deal with all of life’s “regular” struggles – paying bills, mothering, working, cooking, cleaning, taking care of animals, all while being tempted, tried – and still find time and energy to GROW?!?

    Yes. I’ve got help. From the only One I need. And this is important to me. Growth is a priority. Healing is a priority.

  • Hypocritical Raspberry – How Forgiveness Changed Me

    Good morning, Raspberries.

    I wanted to talk to you a little bit about something that has been on my heart.

    I went to a new therapist yesterday, my first appointment. I’ll admit it was a little odd. I have been in therapy off and on for about 25 years. I’m not sure if I should or even can decide, after only one appointment, how this will go, especially with a new therapist. But I remain open, and I think that matters.

    I remember telling my therapist yesterday that my “problems” are no one’s fault but mine. My bad decisions. My poor insight. My misdirection.

    Now, at one point in my life, I’d have denied that entirely. Everything wrong in my life was someone else’s fault. My arguments to that point were always bulleted, buttoned-down, and I assessed blame with very strong conviction.

    That is no longer the case. And I may explain why another time.

    In Matthew Chapter 18, beginning in Verse 21, Jesus and his disciple, Peter, have a short conversation about how many times we, as followers of the Lord, are to forgive people. It seemed to me in the text that Peter must have been feeling a bit convicted himself, when he says, I can only imagine tentatively, “…up to SEVEN TIMES?!?”

    Jesus responds, and I am paraphrasing, “Nope. 77 times.”

    I thought about this as I followed the story. And I almost wonder if Jesus wasn’t matching Peter’s energy here – sarcasm with sarcasm.

    I think what Jesus meant, maybe, was that we aren’t supposed to keep count. I think Jesus wants us to keep forgiving people to a point that we stop counting how many times we’ve been hurt.

    Jesus then offers Peter a parable, and He tells a story about a king who cancels the debt of a servant, at which point that same servant, who was then free, choked a fellow servant because he was owed a much lesser amount of money.

    The king forgave and canceled a significant debt of, say $10,000.00, only for that forgiven servant to try to fight one of his fellow servants over a bill?!? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

    And then I remembered – I’ve done that, too.

    I have asked for forgiveness that I was not willing to return. I’ve been given grace, and then I’ve had the audacity to hold a grudge.

    I talked to someone much wiser than me recently about the concept of forgiveness. And he said, “It’s your job to apologize, and whether they forgive you or not is up to them.”

    And when I asked when I’m allowed to stop feeling guilty for what I’ve done wrong, he very quickly replied, “When people try to throw your past back up in your face, you tell them you’re already forgiven.”

    Wow. There’s no way it can be that easy. I can’t possibly feel better until I’m forgiven by those I’ve wronged, right?

    Not true. Someone else’s lack of forgiveness is their burden to carry. Like the debt-free servant in the Lord’s parable to Peter, MY job is to extend the same forgiveness that has been extended to me, over and over and over.

    And so one of my challenges to you, Raspberry Reader, would be to search your heart for every grudge, every scar, and every grievance, and release it. The weight that comes with a lack of forgiveness is not worth carrying.

    Likewise, none of us are “owed” grace or forgiveness, but since Jesus paid the ultimate price, and since we, as imperfect humans, are forgiven, we need not take personally what another person does to hurt us, intentional or not.

    There are so many unhealed parts of me, and I can start healing by releasing certain aspects of my life, and certain aspects of the lives of others, to the One who Heals. I do not have to do it by myself. And neither do you. He’s better at it anyway. Let Him help you.

  • The Raspberry Mirror Letter

    When I can’t think of what to write – when I’m anxious or when writer’s block hits me like a rough wave – I ask ChatGPT to give me a writing prompt.

    Here’s tonight’s:

    Write to yourself as if you’re looking in the mirror right now. Be brutally honest. Describe what you see, what you hide, what you wished others noticed, and what you’re afraid they might.

    Ouch. As someone who is most critical of herself, this might not end well.

    Hi Raspberry,

    Another $6 Temu shirt and pants that “go” but don’t exactly match, you should probably work on your wardrobe. I know you work from home now, but wearing jeans and make up are still options.

    You know what? Nevermind. Be comfy. You don’t have to impress anyone. But does your wardrobe really reflect who you are?

    In the mirror, which is no longer splattered with toothpaste and spit (thank you for cleaning me), I see a very broken, lonely not-yet-woman. I am not sure why I don’t see you as the grown up you are. It could be that some of your emotions and decisions have been immature. It could also be that at 38 years old you don’t “fit” into anyone’s box. You’re a mystery. A constant internal conflict. A little lost. Melancholy with a generally sad spirit. You’re also blind as a bat now. Your gray hairs are poking out of your scalp, a completely different texture from the rest of your fine, dark hair.

    And what is that baby puke green color on your nails? Did you do that on purpose? LOL!

    You wear your heart on your sleeve and too often open up to the wrong people, while you close yourself off to others. You tend to hide the most honest parts of you for fear of not being accepted, and I know, at your core, all you ever really want is to be accepted. Encouraged to be a better version of yourself while also reassured that who you are is good enough. I guess you’ve never really experienced that, have you?

    But you know what? You’re also kind. You accept criticism with grace, and even often agree with the critic. You are a devoted mother, and only once have you chosen your own happiness over your kids’, and even then, you felt incredibly guilty, which is a good thing. You’re a hard worker and attentive to your obligations. You know how to cook, clean, and take care of other people – even people who cannot or will not give you anything in return.

    And perhaps it is only because you’ve made so many mistakes and you have failed so many times, but Girl, you are the least judgmental person I have ever met, outside of Jesus Himself. I hope you find purpose in listening to others. You give them WAY more leniency than you’ve ever given yourself.

    And I know right now you feel empty. And you feel like it’s all your fault. I know that people like you, who, in their most lost feelings, get up and try again anyway.

    Please remember that there is peace in boredom. There is nothing wrong with you – the real you – no matter how much others criticize you. Please remember that you are forgiven by the Most High, and it’s not up to you to settle any score. You’ve apologized, and that is all you can do. Please remember that your mistakes don’t define you. Please remember that healing takes time. Please remember that the only person’s opinion who matters is God’s, and He appreciates that you’ve sought solace in Him. Please remember that messing up doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries. Please remember that being kind doesn’t mean you are obligated to be a doormat. Please remember that desperation is not a redeeming quality. And please remember that there are things far worse than being lonely. Unlike others, you recognize that you’re not always the victim. Unlike others, you try to right your wrongs. And sometimes, it is okay to use your differences to your advantage. Don’t be harder on yourself than you would be on someone else who has made the same mistakes.

    Your Daddy used to tell you to “be smart.” You should take his advice.

  • Ten Raspberry Facts

    On today’s episode of “So what’s the deal with the raspberry?” – let’s get into 10 facts.

    I say “facts” and not “fun facts” because raspberries can be bitter at times.

    1. I don’t know who I am. Wait, is that too heavy? I have spent the last 38 years wearing many hats – girlfriend, fiancee, wife, mom, ex wife, daughter, niece, granddaughter, great granddaughter, paralegal, dog mom, cat mom. And I’ve always tended to wear those hats with a certain amount of pride, and then complete tasks that fall in line with each of my roles. But to say I know who I am would not be accurate. And every time I think I have it figured out, I make a mistake or do something impulsive or selfish, and I have to start all over, because I refuse to accept that I’m a failure. So I know things I like and I definitely know things I don’t like. I know my fears. I know what is expected of me. But my core? Giant blob of confusion. Query – is it strange to be doing a “facts” post when I don’t even know who I am? Yeah. I probably didn’t think this through.
    2. I found out two days ago that I was born on a full moon. I would like to blame so many things in my life on that one fact. But at least now that’s something I know, even if it doesn’t change a single thing that has happened in my life to date.
    3. I wear a giant t-shirt to bed almost every single night. I own pajamas, yes. And I wear them during my workday (I work from home). But I don’t wear pajamas like I guess people are “supposed to.”
    4. I can’t paint my fingernails because my real nails have vertical ridges in them. Grooves that stand out when covered in polish. But I love the look of a crisp, short manicure. So I buy press ons from Dollar General or Walmart or Temu, most recently, and I do them myself. They last 4 or 5 days, and then I get annoyed and pop them off and do another set. And even going through 4 or 5 sets of nails a month is still cheaper than one trip to the nail salon. Right now, they’re blue, and the longer I look at them, the more the color reminds me of the 1995 periwinkle Mercury Villager I drove back and forth to work and church my senior year of high school. And now I kind of want to rip the nails off, especially because they don’t match the nude/beige shade of my painted toenails. Ick.
    5. To that end, I clip the skin off of the tips of my fingers. I remember I once had to do a background check for a job at Chase Bank, and the officer who took my fingerprints asked me if I had been burned. And I told my former therapist about it, and when I showed her, she nearly teared up with what I presume, even still, was a combination of disappointment and concern. And that was almost 15 years ago.
    6. I don’t carry a purse. With me at all times is: a tube of chapstick, my vape, a bottle of Dr. Pepper, my cell phone (Android for life), and reading glasses and sunglasses. And if I’m in public, which will be rare from here on out, I’m almost always in leggings.
    7. I can’t watch horror movies or t.v. series, for fear of peeing said leggings. No, I’m not kidding.
    8. No matter what time I go to bed, I need 8 hours of sleep. If I don’t get those 8 hours during the night, you can count on a nap at some point the next day.
    9. When I was younger, I was so glad that Joey picked Pacey. That Bella picked Edward. That Elena picked Damon. And now I am convinced Joey should’ve chosen Dawson. Bella would’ve been better off with Jacob. And Elena should’ve ended up with Stephen. Queue the Charlie in Twilight quote – “Sometimes you have to learn to love what is good for you.” Now, more than ever, I believe that love is not always dramatic or dynamic or even all about compromise or sacrifice, as we’ve often been told or as we see in movies. Love is safe. It’s kind. It’s honest. It’s comfortable. It’s calm. It feels like home. And I don’t think real love takes much work. Compatibility should be natural.
    10. I play the “What if?” game a lot. An avid over thinker, I often ponder The Butterfly Effect and how my life would’ve been different if I’d just made one decision differently. I know it doesn’t benefit me, and that is not to say I don’t have a good life. I do. A life I don’t deserve. A life I’m grateful to have. But that is not to say I wouldn’t undo some of my decisions, given the choice. Maybe I’d have pushed to get my Master’s. Maybe I’d have taken different routes the two times I totaled two separate cars, once that could’ve very well killed me. Maybe I’d have skipped the second marriage altogether (I’ll tell you about that another time). Given the day or hour, there are a million things I’d do differently. But then would that still mean I’d be sitting on a comfortable couch, in my huge t-shirt, puppy and Chromebook in my lap? Who knows?

    What are the types of things you guys like reading? I want to make sure these posts are insightful and entertaining, and at the same time, cathartic for me.

    Thank you for being here.

  • It’s the Little Things

    When I can’t think of blog material on my own…when the need for inspiration breaks my brain…but still knowing that this blog will end up being good for my soul if I remain consistent, I take to Google, Pinterest, etc. and let one of those choose a writing prompt for me.

    That’s kind of where I am now. It’s almost 11:00. I took something to help me sleep, yet here I sit, in front of this screen, trying to crank out something before I crash.

    Pinterest told me to make a list of little things that make me happy. Easy enough, except as someone who experiences manic depression, I guess it’s a good thing I remain in good spirits today.

    I’m skipping the itemization of the obvious – family, friends (who am I kidding? I don’t have any friends), and instead, you’re getting a long list of eccentricities, really. In list format:

    • The ten minutes after I discover my paycheck has been direct deposited, when I can see the fruits (raspberries, if you will) of my labor before all of that hard work disappears by way of auto draft;
    • ASMR videos, which I don’t just watch at night, but all day long;
    • The rubber, but realistic-looking opossum that was purchased for me as a gag gift. I named him Chester. He is currently draped over my computer monitor, his paws covering my webcam. He hangs out with me while I work. He’s basically become a member of the family;
    • Sleeping in a really, really cold room, covered with a billion blankets. I want to see my breath but I want to break a sweat underneath those covers. Best. Sleep. Ever;
    • Baths. In big bathtubs. Hot enough to turn my skin red;
    • School/office supplies. The idea of getting a new notebook or pack of pens. “What will I write on this new canvas?” It’s an obsession at this point;
    • Naps. When my life and/or thoughts get weird…when I’m overthinking or over-analyzing certain aspects of my existence, the solution is almost always a few tears and a nap. Not a little nap either. I have been known to sleep for half days, after sleeping a full 8 or 9 hours the night before;
    • My vape. A former smoker, I only sacrificed the smell and taste of menthol cigarettes. The nicotine addiction didn’t go anywhere, and in fact, it has probably gotten worse in the last few years, because I switched to vaping. I don’t care. I need my vape;
    • Reassurance. When someone does not typically get “atta boys,” that person is also that much more appreciative of positive reinforcement, validation, all of those things. I don’t want applause for existing, but if I’m struggling, reassurance means so much;
    • The realization, especially when I’m lonely, that the Lord hears even a silent prayer;
    • Grocery pick up. I can count on probably my hands the number of times I have stepped foot in Wal-Mart since grocery pick up became a thing;
    • Listening to my son’s music. I have a 16 year old, who I am sure you’ll read about sooner rather than later, who has learned every musical skill on his own. He can’t read music, but if you send him something to play, he can figure it out. I love listening to him play;
    • Sweatshirts. I can’t explain the gratification I get from a new sweatshirt. I own probably two dozen and they are in constant rotation. Last week I bought one that just says “PICKLES” on the front, and I’ve already worn it twice.
    • The satisfaction that comes from lighting candles AFTER you’ve cleaned your house from top to bottom. You mean to tell me I worked so hard and now it SMELLS good too?!? Yes, please;
    • To that end, a detailed car. Granted, my car is a disaster at the moment. That reminds me, I need to schedule a wash and vacuum. A clean car will really make you feel like your ducks are in a row;
    • Marshmallow Peeps. Okay, here’s the deal. I used to hate ’em. Then I found out nobody in my family liked them either. So it’s one of the only candies/sweets that can exist in my life that no one asks me to share. I don’t like to share (another mantra in my life, which I may or may not explain at a later date), so even if it is an acquired taste, or even if the discovery of them in Dollar General is the biggest hype, I enjoy eating them – alone;
    • The smell of shoe stores;
    • Doing my own nails. Did you know that you can’t walk in and out of a nail salon in my area for less than about $70.00?! My little Temu nails cost about $3.00 for 4 or 5 sets. And when I do them myself, I don’t have to complain that they aren’t short enough. I can’t remember the last time I went to get my nails done. I just like doing them myself;
    • When my back pops;
    • All things fall.
    • To that end, Christmas decorations, especially when there are no budget restrictions and I can actually decorate the way I want;
    • Watching the same three television shows over and over because my anxiety won’t let me sit through anything new, for fear of wasting time on a new show I won’t enjoy half as much. Friends. Big Bang. TVD. In constant rotation;

    I’ll add to the above list intermittently, so check back occasionally if you found this at all interesting.

    Tomorrow you get to meet my new puppy!

    Keep raspin’…

  • The Rasper Herself

    Do y’all remember those Sonic commercials in the 2010s?

    “May I sub-respond before you finish?”

    This one was my favorite. And for 15 years, more or less, it’s been an internal, running joke in my own head.

    “Why not raspberry iced “M” or one of the other 48 letters?”

    It makes me giggle even now.

    (It’s probably not even that funny, but if nothing else, you’re already getting a sense of what I find entertaining, and that will either create followers or trolls. At any rate, welcome!

    Let’s look at the characteristics of a raspberry.

    Raspberries Fresh raspberries (rubus idaeus) full frame closeup. raspberry pink stock pictures, royalty-free photos & images
    ** iStock photo

    Raspberries are considered an “aggregate” fruit, and aggregate means “a whole formed by combining several elements.” Are raspberries complicated? This one is.

    Raspberries are plump and are both sweet and tart. And so am I.

    They’re versatile – you can put those suckers in jam, pie, smoothies, yogurt, muffins, syrup…and they’ll figure out how to adapt no matter what. Guilty as charged.

    And lastly, they’ll spoil and start to stink if you leave them in a hot car for too long. Yep. Me too.

    I’m Meg. I live a quiet life with people I love, although I can’t say I’m never the villain in others’ stories.

    And rather than carry the guilt or shame associated with those villainous moments, I’m choosing, instead, to start over, and try doing life a different way.

    Like the raspberry who tried to be a strawberry her whole life – because they’re more popular, easier to manage, and tend to be a little bit sweeter – I finally realized that it’s okay to be a raspberry anyway.

    So follow along as we figure out who I am. I don’t have all of the answers, but at least I’m willing to try to find them.

    Keep raspin’…and have a “berry” sweet day!

    -Meg