Raspberry Iced M

Good morning, Raspberries.

I wanted to talk to you a little bit about something that has been on my heart.

I went to a new therapist yesterday, my first appointment. I’ll admit it was a little odd. I have been in therapy off and on for about 25 years. I’m not sure if I should or even can decide, after only one appointment, how this will go, especially with a new therapist. But I remain open, and I think that matters.

I remember telling my therapist yesterday that my “problems” are no one’s fault but mine. My bad decisions. My poor insight. My misdirection.

Now, at one point in my life, I’d have denied that entirely. Everything wrong in my life was someone else’s fault. My arguments to that point were always bulleted, buttoned-down, and I assessed blame with very strong conviction.

That is no longer the case. And I may explain why another time.

In Matthew Chapter 18, beginning in Verse 21, Jesus and his disciple, Peter, have a short conversation about how many times we, as followers of the Lord, are to forgive people. It seemed to me in the text that Peter must have been feeling a bit convicted himself, when he says, I can only imagine tentatively, “…up to SEVEN TIMES?!?”

Jesus responds, and I am paraphrasing, “Nope. 77 times.”

I thought about this as I followed the story. And I almost wonder if Jesus wasn’t matching Peter’s energy here – sarcasm with sarcasm.

I think what Jesus meant, maybe, was that we aren’t supposed to keep count. I think Jesus wants us to keep forgiving people to a point that we stop counting how many times we’ve been hurt.

Jesus then offers Peter a parable, and He tells a story about a king who cancels the debt of a servant, at which point that same servant, who was then free, choked a fellow servant because he was owed a much lesser amount of money.

The king forgave and canceled a significant debt of, say $10,000.00, only for that forgiven servant to try to fight one of his fellow servants over a bill?!? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

And then I remembered – I’ve done that, too.

I have asked for forgiveness that I was not willing to return. I’ve been given grace, and then I’ve had the audacity to hold a grudge.

I talked to someone much wiser than me recently about the concept of forgiveness. And he said, “It’s your job to apologize, and whether they forgive you or not is up to them.”

And when I asked when I’m allowed to stop feeling guilty for what I’ve done wrong, he very quickly replied, “When people try to throw your past back up in your face, you tell them you’re already forgiven.”

Wow. There’s no way it can be that easy. I can’t possibly feel better until I’m forgiven by those I’ve wronged, right?

Not true. Someone else’s lack of forgiveness is their burden to carry. Like the debt-free servant in the Lord’s parable to Peter, MY job is to extend the same forgiveness that has been extended to me, over and over and over.

And so one of my challenges to you, Raspberry Reader, would be to search your heart for every grudge, every scar, and every grievance, and release it. The weight that comes with a lack of forgiveness is not worth carrying.

Likewise, none of us are “owed” grace or forgiveness, but since Jesus paid the ultimate price, and since we, as imperfect humans, are forgiven, we need not take personally what another person does to hurt us, intentional or not.

There are so many unhealed parts of me, and I can start healing by releasing certain aspects of my life, and certain aspects of the lives of others, to the One who Heals. I do not have to do it by myself. And neither do you. He’s better at it anyway. Let Him help you.