Raspberry Iced M

As I’ve said before, sometimes I ask Chat GPT to give me guidance as to what I need to be writing. I did so moments ago, and I was met with the following:

“10 Gentle Truths I’m Learning About Who I Am.”

Yikes.

As someone who tends to be more critical of myself than of others, this may be a little more challenging than I’d have initially preferred, especially because it’s 11 p.m. and I’ve had a relatively busy day. Church, where there were lots of tears. Lunch. A movie with my son. A full scrub down of the house, which, truthfully didn’t take as long as anticipated, but it was a chore, nonetheless. Then prayer journal, bullet journal, packing my son’s lunch, and about 4 loads of laundry.

It is somewhat interesting to me that I was given this specific blog prompt, because this morning at church, the sermon was about our identity in Christ.

Don’t get me wrong – it has been a good day. And with purpose, I decided I would snuggle into bed with my laptop. The problem with this intention? Severe Writer’s Block.

Gentle truths? Hm. Let’s see where this goes.

(I don’t brainstorm or outline these posts, in case you were wondering.)

1. I am definitely a night owl. Not a morning person. Not even an afternoon person. I like my sleep. But if you catch me at about 7 or 8 p.m., you’re likely to find me doing something productive – cleaning, meal prep, planning my next day, helping with homework. I hit my peak. And you have me from then until about midnight, at which point I find the nearest pillow and crash.
2. I have lost people who meant the world to me. And here I am – still making it. My track record for overcoming really difficult things is: Me – all of them; All of them – 0. I am still an avid overthinker, so sometimes I have to remind myself of it, and sometimes it can be hard for me to focus on what is good because there is some bad. But I am learning to count things in my favor. And I’ve survived it all so far, praise the Lord.
3. I lack certain discipline that I “should” have – as a grown woman. I used to say I wasn’t motivated. But I don’t think that the things I don’t do have much to do with motivation. I think I’ve grown so accustomed to impulsivity, and what “feels good” right now – mostly because I’ve been chasing my own self-worth for 20 years – that I forget that it is discipline that actually gets things done. So for now, I am relying on the Lord to remind me of who I am and focusing a lot less on “noise” that could ever reassure me. The bottom line is that what others say and think – even if once true – well, it means a lot less these days.
4. I would prefer to eat 8 snacks a day instead of 3 meals. What does that make me? A snacking machine? Don’t worry – the snacks aren’t always bad for me. On a related note, I just bought myself the tiniest little cucumbers for lunches this week, and I’m really excited to try them.
5. I am a not-on-purpose self mutilator. Let me tell you what I have done this week. For one, I clipped all the skin off of my fingertips. I’ve told you all about this before, but when the skin on my fingers gets dry, I clip it off. I’ve been doing it for years. It doesn’t hurt, and I don’t want it to hurt. But I’ve been told it is a form of mutilation. Secondly, the temperature has dropped about 20 degrees where I am. That makes my skin dry. I have scratched my legs bloody this evening, just trying to relieve the itch. I’m telling you all this, knowing full well I need to find some lotion. But it’s too late now. I’ve already done it.
6. I think I have finally accepted the fact that I’m introverted. I used to battle it. I used to try to change it. Not anymore. It’s just who I am. And it’s not a bad thing.
7. I know entirely too much about serial killers. Just an observation. But that also means I can pretty much review any case file and solve a crime. It’s true.
8. I learned that I can cook all of the sides for one Thanksgiving dinner, plus two desserts, in about 2 hours if I don’t take breaks. This year, I made mashed potatoes, corn, butter beans, deviled eggs, broccoli casserole, peach cobbler, and peanut butter cheesecake (which was a “no bake” recipe, to be fair). Tip – put everything in a disposable aluminum pan. Your dishwasher will thank you.
9. I learned this a long time ago, but it was reaffirmed this week – I don’t drink enough water. I shall remedy that this upcoming week. And just to piggyback on that, I also learned that I own too many Stanleys. I’ve been giving those bad boys out like candy.
10. And lastly, I learned that I can no longer wear bras with wires. Ouch.

Wherever you are – whatever you’re doing – however you’re coping – I hope you each have an amazing week. I hope the Lord blesses you and protects you and keeps you safe.

Side note – I am not good at much, but I can pray. If you have a prayer request, please shoot me a message, or comment, or email. I would love to pray for/with you.