Raspberry Iced M

You know who actually breaks my heart in the Bible?

Peter.

Not when he cut the soldier’s ear off. Not when he walked on water and started sinking. Not when he was swearing he’d never leave.

But the moment that gets me is when Jesus looked at him after the denial.

When he failed publicly…
Repeatedly…
In one night…

We love Peter the preacher. The Peter that said, “On this rock I’ll build my church.” But nobody really sits with the embarrassed Peter. The one who folded under pressure. The one who said, “I don’t know Him” – not once. Not twice. But three times.

The one whose mouth betrayed his heart.

What tears me up is that a lot of us know what it feels like to love God and still disappoint Him. We may mean well, and we still mess up. We may be sincere in our minds and still fall short in our hearts. And some of us may even be running to avoid the conviction that comes with knowingly-made bad decisions.

Peter didn’t deny Jesus because he stopped believing. He denied Jesus because fear got louder than his faith.

And before we judge him how many times have we been him?

And even in all of my wrong choices, I didn’t stop loving God. I was just quiet when it really mattered. Complacent when it counted.

I didn’t boldly walk away from the Lord or renounce Him out loud. I just blended in when standing alone made me uncomfortable. I didn’t renounce Him out loud.

And that’s the part nobody preaches about.

It can be easy to talk about the loud failures that come from rebellious people who “know better but don’t do better.”

But Peter failed up close. He was still near Jesus. Still following Him. Still watching it unfold.

And that kind of failure is harder to believe. Because you can’t blame that on ignorance or distance or not knowing better. Peter knew Him. He walked with Him. He saw the miracles. And still denied Him.

That has really messed with my head. It has made me question my purpose, my sense of direction, and my calling. It has decreased my level of confidence and devalued what little credibility I may still have.

Reading that story has made me wonder how God can still use me after I willingly chose incorrectly for so long.

And the part we often skip is that Jesus didn’t confront Peter immediately. He let Peter sit with his decision for a minute. And that is still the case today. Sometimes God doesn’t rush to correct you because He’s letting conviction do the work.

But after the resurrection, after the victory, after the glory, Jesus asked Peter one question: “Do you love me?” Not “Why did you deny me?” Not “How could you embarrass me?” Not even “Can I still trust you?”

“Do you love me?” Three times. The same number of times that Peter denied Him.

Jesus wasn’t trying to shame Peter. Jesus was restoring Peter at the point of his failure.

And here’s the kicker…

Jesus didn’t take away Peter’s calling. He refined it. He didn’t disqualify Peter or replace Peter. He recommissioned Peter.

Jesus still trusted Peter, which tells me that God is not intimidated by our moments of weakness. He takes our stupidity into account when assigning our purpose.

At times I have thought that I’m done because I failed under pressure, or because I ran when things were hard, or because I knew better and still messed up.

But those failures didn’t cancel my assignment. My failures are part of the fulfillment of my assignment.

Peter became the great leader he was because he knew what it felt like to fall and still be loved by the Lord. He could preach grace because it was given to him when he needed it.

Please stop to consider that the things you are ashamed of are the very things God plans to anoint. Maybe the moment in your life that you believe disqualified you is the humbling experience you needed to fully commit. Maybe running from conviction is a part of your own testimony that will win others to the Kingdom.

To my readers – never think you are unsalvageable.

I mean…look what He did for Peter.