Raspberry Iced M

I feel like I was a completely different person 20 years ago. Outgoing. Spontaneous. A friend to many. The life of any party. Loud.

Now, not so much. I’m quiet in crowds. I can function in small groups, but I never want to “go first,” and I’m always paranoid I’ll say or do the wrong things. That builds up anxiety – a lot of it – so I usually just prefer to stay at home. By myself.

How I switched from extraverted to introverted I may never understand. But as life has happened, so did that.

And when I see someone who knew me “back then,” I can’t seem to meet their expectations.

People tend to misunderstand introverts, partly because introversion is defined by what isn’t.

Not loud. Not constantly social. Not energized by crowds.

But despite my failures to meet the expectations of a few, being introverted isn’t a flaw. It’s not a limitation. And I don’t need to be fixed, at least not in that way. I just interact with the world a little differently now – so much though that I think people have certain misconceptions about that change.

Some people think that introverts:

1. Don’t like people. That’s probably the biggest myth I’ve encountered. I like people just fine. I just don’t love constant interaction without breaks. I need those breaks to recharge. I need to pace myself.
2. Are shy. I’m not shy. Shyness, to me, is about fear of judgment. Introversion is about energy. I am socially capable. I just prefer smaller conversations over loud rooms.
3. Don’t enjoy socializing. I do. I just do it differently. I enjoy meaningful conversations and one-on-one time. Depth over volume.
4. Are quiet because we have nothing to say. I like to think before I speak. I listen and process first. If I’m quiet, it’s not because I am not thinking. In fact, it’s the opposite.
5. Can’t be leaders. I disagree. We listen carefully, reflect before reacting, and consider multiple perspectives. Leadership is not about volume – it’s about clarity and making good judgment calls. And I’m probably better at that now than I’ve ever been.
6. Need to be fixed. Introversion isn’t something I need to overcome. I’ve grown into this actually.
7. Don’t enjoy fun. That’s not true – I just might not enjoy your kind of fun. I have a lot of hobbies, and I spend meaningful time with lots of people. It’s still fun. Just quiet.
8. Don’t like attention. I don’t seek attention. But I can handle it. I can handle a phone call, give a presentation, and even speak publicly. I just need down time afterward.
9. Live inside our heads. That’s only true in part. I do spend a lot of time reflecting, thinking and processing internally. But doing helps me draw out creativity, insight, and empathy. It’s not isolation, no matter how it looks. It’s observation.
10. Are judgmental. I am one of the least judgmental people on the planet. My silence and solitude are often misread, and other people tend to perceive it as a skewed sense of superiority. It’s not that. I’m not better than anyone. I just want my responses to be valuable. How can I offer that if I don’t hear your whole story?

I have so many weaknesses, but introversion isn’t one of them. I just march to a different rhythm – one that reflects depth and meaningful connection. And in a world that often rewards constant noise and activity, I can offer something different – the ability to pause, listen, and think before speaking. Sometimes the quietest voices are the most thoughtful ones.