Raspberry Iced M

Before I start, I’d like to give a quick shout-out to my handsome husband, who purchased the Spiral Bible for me for Christmas. I’m a note-taking girly, and I put this particular version on my wish list, in hopes that I would engage with the Word like it is something to study.

And his gift to me has done just that. Consider my expectations exceeded.

I used to read the Bible like it was a chore. A box to check off of my task list.

And since I thought of it as a chore, I treated it as such. Barely paying attention, assigning literal meaning to its contents, even skimming over names I couldn’t pronounce or things I didn’t understand.

I’m happy to say that’s not the case anymore. For those of you seeking answers to your prayers/questions/complaints, I urge you to start reading. God doesn’t want us to be spoiled. I believe, sometimes, He wants us to work for the answers we seek.

So I finished the book of Jeremiah last week, and it spoke into the deepest parts of my heart.

For those who haven’t read it yet, I’ll summarize.

A quick history lesson – in Genesis, God gives Jacob (Isaac’s son and Abraham’s grandson) a new name – Israel. Israel = one person. And Jacob/Israel had 12 sons. Those sons became the heads of the 12 tribes of Israel. Still one nation…Israel.

But after the reign of Solomon, the nation of Israel split into two different kingdoms.

So…in the North, you’ve got Israel, which included those 10 out of 12 tribes. Capital? Samaria. Israel was conquered by Assyria (before Jeremiah’s ministry).

And in the South, you’ve got the other two tribes, Judah and Benjamin, which are known under one name, Judah. Capital? Jerusalem. It’s where the temple was located.

So the Book of Jeremiah was written by the prophet Jeremiah (was that condescending?), who was native to Anathoth in the territory of Benjamin (which became part of the southern kingdom of Judah).

All caught up? Okay.

So Jeremiah’s message to Judah is basically this: God has warned you again and again and again, and yet you still worship idols, have prideful hearts, and are unjust and stubborn. You hide behind the fact that you’re God’s people, and you think you’re untouchable. But God will not warn you anymore. Instead, you will face the consequences of your actions.

Judah knew better. God had already rescued these people over and over, and if that wasn’t enough, He provided to them truth, instructions, and like I said, * so many * warnings. Through Jeremiah, God spoke clearly. “This is not the way. Turn back. This will cost you.”

And still…they didn’t listen. In fact, in Jeremiah 18, Judah essentially says, “We will follow our own plans.” Judah didn’t collapse overnight, but it drifted, gradually and consistently, until things that once felt wrong – like worshipping other gods, exploiting the vulnerable, and being dishonest and corrupt in business practices – started to feel normal. Judah kept turning toward things that could not actually sustain it as a nation. Its people replaced what was good with what was satisfying in the moment.

Since Judah refused correction, even after being warned by God through Jeremiah, God allows a war, and Judah was overtaken by Babylon, and then exiled.

But even as things unraveled, God was still speaking. He didn’t disappear. He called them back, over and over. “Return to me. Turn now, every one of you, from your evil ways…” The invitation was longstanding, even in the middle of consequence. And the irony is that, yes, God allowed Babylon to capture Judah, but God also vowed to punish Babylon and its king for hurting Judah. After all, Judah belonged to God.

So I closed that Book thinking, “Am I…am I JUDAH?!?”

I have made so many decisions out of panic or heartache or anger or pride or just sheer brokenness. Even though I knew better. And even though His instructions were very clear. I wasn’t confused. I was resistant. And I put hope and effort into things and people that could not sustain me forever. Heads up – “quick fixes” are rarely the right answer.

Over time, like Judah, as I continued to resist God’s instruction, those irrational, overreactive, emotional decisions became patterns. Destructive ones. I began looking for fulfillment in places that were never meant to provide it. Yes, I was trying to meet needs, but I was doing it in unhealthy ways. And God didn’t ordain any of that.

And as my feelings turned into decisions, and decisions into patterns, the Lord began stripping me of things (and people) I valued. Picture a father trying to get a toddler’s attention by snapping his fingers.

Enter the consequences of loneliness, shame, heartbreak. And what’s funny is that I’ve caught myself praying that the Lord remove those things from my life, even though I’m the one that created those feelings, and even though, in hindsight, I recognize that God may be allowing those things now because (1) they keep me closer to and dependent upon Him; and (2) there’s a lesson that lies in consequence.

But what I am learning is that consequences are not rejection. He’s still with me. Being confronted with truth does not mean I am abandoned. And in the same way He extended an invitation to Judah to change, I am invited to turn, to rebuild, and to stop repeating what I now understand.

My former 38 years looked a little like Judah. Not because I am beyond hope, but because I know what it is to hear truth and resist it, to drift slowly, to choose what feels good instead of what is right, and then face the reality of those choices.

But if the Book of Jeremiah showed me anything, it’s this: God does not stop calling His people back. Even when they’ve ignored Him. Even in the middle of consequences. Even when distance feels real.

And maybe the fact that I can see it now is evidence that I will come, full circle, from the bitterness of consequence, to endurance, and finally to redemption.