Raspberry Iced M

I’m 39.

39.

That’s almost 40.

Which means I’ve been an adult for over two decades, technically.

I should’ve listened to my parents when they told me I should’ve tried longer to stay little.

I moved out young, got married young, had kids young…

Now I have a whole career. I pay taxes. I make appointments without needing to be reminded.

And yet there are still moments throughout my regular days when I look around for someone more qualified than me to answer a question of some sort…

…before realizing…

…it’s me. I’m the qualified one.

Apparently.

To be honest, it’s not the emergencies that make me feel mature. Like when my son thought he broke his ankle at school last week. Or when my husband’s body decided to become infected with cancer. Or when my own doctor told me my iron was so low that an IV iron infusion was likely the only remedy, notwithstanding surgery.

I realize I’m a grown up because my tastes have changed. My preferences are different than they were 20 years ago. And I handle chaos differently.

1. I get excited about home decor. Not clothes anymore – I wear leggings pulled up to about my bra line about 6 days a week. And a giant sweatshirt, regardless of the weather. But the ice cream cone canisters I bought for my kitchen? My new, slim, beige, 29 gallon trash can? The orange bedding that perfectly matches the curtains in my bedroom? Don’t threaten me with a good time.
2. I order groceries online. I started doing this during the COVID pandemic. And I haven’t stepped foot inside a Walmart in months. It’s probably not beneficial in the way that I’ve become more secluded, but it is beneficial for my lumbar spine.
3. I say things my parents used to say to me. Now I tell my son that he needs to try to stay little longer. And he won’t listen – just like his sister didn’t. Just like I didn’t. Sorry, Mom and Dad. You were right.
4. I become genuinely excited when plans get canceled. Younger Raspberry was all, “Let’s go somewhere!” Now Raspberry is like, “Oh, you can’t make it?” That’s terrible. I’m devastated. Please excuse me while I immediately take my pants off. That level of joy is known only to introverts and lottery winners.
5. I have opinions about appliances now. Mark 2026 in your respective calendars as the year I had a total come apart over a drink fridge. And the year I bought a new vacuum cleaner, a carpet shampooer, and a cart upon which to organize said vacuum cleaner and carpet shampooer. I used to have dreams. Now I have preferred dishwasher specifications.
6. I understand, now, why grown ups want “nothing” for their birthday. As a kid, this baffled me. What do they mean they don’t want anything? Well, they did. Just nothing tangible. What do I want for my 40th birthday? Peace. An uninterrupted bath. Maybe a dinner that doesn’t require clean up afterwards. And please don’t make me pick the restaurant.
7. I have a drawer full of cords I refuse to throw away. Do I know what they plug into? No. Have I used them in the last 8 years? No. Can we throw them away? Absolutely not. Because the moment I do, something in this house will require a Mini-USB cable manufactured during the Obama administration. And I’m not falling for it.
8. I say this phrase out loud: “That’s too expensive.” I remember being 16, making $3.50 an hour, plus tips, at this little hole in the wall restaurant, using every spare penny to pay for Abercrombie and Aero. And while I’ve never made more money than I currently do, there are things I just won’t buy. Manicures. Name brand Frosted Shredded Mini Wheats. A bra with underwire. Did y’all know area rugs run upwards of $800 now?!?
9. I feel unreasonably accomplished when the entire house is clean. There is a brief and glorious window when the dishes are done, the counters are scrubbed, the laundry is folded, the trash has been taken out, the floors are vacuumed, and everything is where it belongs. And for those eleven minutes, I have conquered adulthood.
10. I realize that I’m the person someone else comes to for answers. This one isn’t funny…well…it’s a little bit funny, because I’m not sure who authorized this. But somewhere along the way, I became the go-to girl. The person my son comes to and asks, “What should I do?” And sometimes, I actually know. Not because I have life figured out (I don’t). But because I’ve lived enough of it to know that most problems eventually pass. Most mistakes teach us something. Most disasters look smaller after a good night’s sleep. And sometimes, being a grown up isn’t knowing exactly what to do. It’s just the willingness to stay calm long enough to figure it out.

Maybe that’s what adulthood actually is. Not finally reaching some magical age where I feel completely competent. But slowly accumulating enough experience to realize that nobody knows exactly what they’re doing. We’re all just paying bills, Googling things, calling our moms, praying for wisdom, buying unnecessary storage containers, and hoping no one notices that we are figuring it all out as we go.

So…yes. I’m 39. I’m unquestionably a grown up. And if you need proof, please see the below photograph of my kitchen canisters.