Category: blog
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This is not a list born out of disappointment. Instead, this was born out of clarity. At one point in my life, I carried a quiet set of expectations everywhere I went. I had hoped people would show up the way I would, care the way I cared, notice the things I noticed. I hoped…
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I don’t have main character energy in a cinematic sense. I can’t even open a can of biscuits, so I can’t imagine looking cool walking away from an explosion. There’s no slow motion walk. No flawless outfits. No dramatic “score” swelling behind me. And to be clear, I am only an underdog in ways I…
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This week I have really tried to work on letting go of things I cannot control. I have an amazing job and a work ethic that trumps most others’, a beautiful home, nice car, a different Stanley for every day of the week. Combine those things with a never precedented desire for privacy, and on…
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Fear has always had a strong voice in my life. It speaks quickly. Convincingly. And with urgency dressed up as wisdom. And for a long time, I let it lead. I didn’t trust it, but it was loud. What I can see now, looking back, is that my values were never absent. They were just…
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Since September, I have attended weekly therapy (minus two separate weeks – one because of illness and one because I legit turned my alarm off in my sleep). On one hand, someone to whom I no longer speak told me I needed “serious help.” On the other hand, I am an advocate of therapy. And…
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I am learning to let people be disappointed in me without fixing it. It isn’t coming from a place of anger. It’s coming from a place of exhaustion. For a long time, I believed disappointment was something to resolve immediately. I adjusted myself, over-explained, and sometimes even offered more of myself – money, time, affection,…
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I am letting go of the urge to be indispensable. For a long time, i believed being needed was the safest way to belong. If I was useful enough – available enough – surely my spot would be secure. What I am learning now is that being indispensable actually means being exhausted. So this isn’t…
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I will not fight for space in others’ lives. This isn’t an ultimatum. It’s also not up for debate. It’s just an understanding I’ve come to, gently but firmly. I will not audition for access. I will not negotiate for attention. And I will not compete with indifference. Not anymore. And not because I’m angry.…
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I will block you so fast now. As someone who internalized every broken relationship, like I was the problem. As someone who is often blamed for actually being the problem. As someone who overthinks every tone, every “off” vibe, every unanswered text. And as someone who is on a journey to let go of things,…
Raspberry Iced M 