Category: forgiveness
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I’m one of those people who can’t just make a mistake once and learn from it. I like to make the same choice 4 or 5 times just to make sure it’s a mistake. And because of that, I’ve been defined by a pattern of those mistakes. It takes three murders to earn someone the…
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I didn’t get to heal in peace — but I am healing in responsibility. There was a time when I used my survival as an explanation. Not an excuse — at least not consciously — but an explanation. I was immature.I was overwhelmed.I was hurt.I was trying. And all of that was true. But true…
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If you asked me to describe myself, one of the words I’d probably use is “emotional.” Not emotional in an explosive way, but in a way that makes me sensitive. Sensitive to change. To tone. To “vibes.” Passionate might also be a good way to describe it. But as the Lord has been doing work…
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My therapist says diagnoses don’t matter. She says it calmly. Clinically. Like someone who has watched enough people wear labels like armor or shackles. “Diagnoses don’t matter.” I nod. But I still Google them in the parking lot. I still compare symptoms on various lists on the internet. Still screenshot phrases like they might hand…
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One of the main things I’ve learned about my brain is that it has absolutely no concept of proportion. Real problems? We’ll get to those eventually. But random, mildly uncomfortable situations? Those are apparently five-alarm emergencies that require immediate mental attention. In all specificity… It’s like my brain doesn’t think I have enough actual problems,…
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I need someone – anyone – to volunteer to delete my browser history in the event of my untimely death. If someone reviewed my Google searches right now, he/she would think that I’m either (1) writing a strange novel; or (2) not allowed unsupervised access to the internet. Either way, these are some things I…
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One of the strange (but comical) things about growing into myself has been realizing how many things I used to believe – with absolute confidence – that turned out to be completely wrong. Not a little bit wrong. Not only technically incorrect. Just wildly, enthusiastically erroneous. See below. If there is one thing I have…
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There’s a rock in my pocket. It isn’t special. It’s not smooth enough to be called a keepsake…not sharp enough to be called dangerous. It’s just…a rock. Ordinary in every way except for the fact that I carry it with me. I don’t remember when I picked it up, and if you ask me why…
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At different points in life, we are assigned labels. Sometimes complimentary. Sometimes critical. Sometimes people label us based on conclusions they’ve drawn after watching a pattern in your life long enough to feel confident about it. And to be fair, sometimes those labels are accurate for a season. My therapist tells me that we are…
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I do not know if I’ll share this or if this will become a write-and-save. At any rate, since I’ve been talking about growth, I thought I should draft a memorandum with a list of noticeable changes I have made so far so that said list is available to me the next time I feel…
Raspberry Iced M 